ON THE TOWN DINING  (Fast Food)

This is not about gourmet restaurants where the lack of food on the beautifully decorated plate is offset by the large amount on the bill.  This is where we all go for a meal.  Not the "experience", a meal, a belly filler, a pause in the hassle of life for sustenance and hopefully a fair shake ( no pun intended).  There is a separate section for the upscale dinning adventures, hopefully a step above fast food, it should be a large step.

Besides California, I think Florida owns the second largest share of the fast dining experience. All these big chains and theme restaurants have established themselves here because of the incredible growth in the state most of which is either coastal or situated in the Tampa-Orlando-Daytona corridor.  It's like when Home Depot ran out the local hardware store, the theme restaurant stores and chains ran out the quaint Mom and Pop culinary talent. Lots of the home cooking today comes from Mom's Cannery and Meat Packing plant. Out in the boonies in the occasional small town you'll find a Mecca of good home cooking. I'm still looking.

How this all got started....Last month in a unprecedented surge in business, it left my wife and I dinning on the run.  In some cases getting the "runs from dinning" might have been the theme.

Really disappointing experiences in our most popular fast eating establishments most within a three-to-five mile radius of dead center Largo. Florida. On the other hand there were a few nicely done and really enjoyable experiences that did make a difference from other chain stores.  The ****'s denote start ratings and they can change as things hopefully improve.

While attending school I worked in a restaurant and enjoy many of the culinary skills today. I am happy-happy in the kitchen. Some of these things I see are not new to me.  Most of the problems in food service are correctable. Some are just "blatant too much corporate BS and too little emphasis on cleanliness and proper food handling. These are people problems, management neglect.

My mother was a food critique, and could tell you the construction of most dishes with one taste.  On the other hand she never cooked with recipes. It was all by touch and taste. Some of the things we saw when we started noticing things just amaze me. It became almost automatic now that I look before I eat. They wouldn't of been tolerated where I worked. I'm not making the statement all the stores in a chain might be this way. Au contraire, this is why I marked specific locations. Within a normal amount of time, if the situation hasn't been corrected, we will bring that to your attention. If it has, we will also take note.

The most disappointing part of this entire quest is really a puzzle to me. Restaurants are really measured in three categories.  Food quality, preparation and presentation (=Value), cleanliness and service.  Some of these places made it past the Board of Health.  I'm not sight impaired.  Some of the inspectors might be.

• Chilies:   ***
  Location: Largo Mall.  Seminole Blvd and Ulmerton Rd.
  No one would believe me at first  but the mashed potatoes came with ALTOIDS breath mints enclosed. I didn't see the ALTOIDS on the butter-sour cream- cheddar cheese-chives- menu.  I noticed the flavor of the potatoes was different and commented to the waitress "What were they putting in the taters?"
  Action Taken:

  • She agreed it left something to be desired.

  • She contacted the manager who agreed something had been inadvertently been added to the menu.

  • He agreed someone failed to tell the home office of this new taste treat.

  • We paid the bill and walked out and we cooked something at home.

  • A swift call the following day to the home office of the Chilies chain.

  • I was contacted by the district manager who promptly comped us another meal.

  • For the rest of my life I won't know whether it was peppermint or spearmint.

  • Their manager, district manager, and staff handled the situation correctly.

  • The comped meal was Ok. We ate at another Chilies. The follow-up comped meal was at the Chilies East Bay at US 19 Mall (Tri City Plaza) and was fine and I could see into their kitchen from where we were seated and it looked very clean.

  Update: Can't get the wife to go back to that particular Chilies, we were in that mall shopping and she said she suddenly wasn't hungry when I offered to grab a bite there.
   

• Steak and Shake:  **
  Location: Largo Mall  Seminole Blvd and Ulmerton Rd.
  This franchise is living proof that it's the sizzle and not the beef that sells here. A couple friends grabbed me and we went out for a quick lunch. Being on a short schedule they picked Steak and Shake. We stood around like idiots waiting to be seated. I thought it was strange since there were only 7 people in the whole place. Finally after the help decided whose turn it was, we ordered the Double Hamburger Platters, Ooops STEAK BURGERS and a side of Chili.
  
  Soon my ears detected the the familiar steel banging on the grill and cremation of a 1/4 pound hockey puck of beef "STEAK-BURGER". The concerto of meat smashing is to sear the flavor in.  It was skillfully performed by Dr. Kevorkian, aka the steak sizzler and sound effects accentuator. He totally smashed every living ounce of taste out of the mini-hockey puck of "STEAK".  Now fully crushed to widen it out to look like a hamburger. Flattened so hard when held up to the light you can almost see through it.
  
  OK, hamburger is beef and beef by-products.  By-products are some parts of the cow I won't mention. If you think because they call their meat "STEAK BURGERS"  and you are getting prime sirloin, T-bones, rib-eye and other expensive cuts, then get off the pot you're smoking. It's effecting your thinking. 
  
  Bottom Line: For the value the food was overpriced, cooked to destruction and I had better Chili right from a can. The forties look and uniforms make it a theme place, but the food was sub par and looked like it had been there from the forties.  More of a rural America theme than any cosmopolitan environment. Funny enough I hadn't stopped in a Steak and Shake since it was the hangout in college days. A Hangout? The Steak and Shake on the road from Champaign - Urbana to Rantoul had all the girls on a Friday night.  Like I said there had to be more to it than Steak Burgers.  I quickly remembered why I hadn't gone back.
  
  Action Taken: No comment to the manager, since I'll never go back anyway. Checkers had better value and the burgers tasted better than double the price at Steak and Shake.
  
   

• Outback Steakhouse: ****+
  Location:  East Bay Drive and Belcher - November 06
  What in the name of heaven are you guys doing?  What a disappointment. You were my favorite thirty dollar meal for two with good value and great food.  My wife and I live in a Condo, fourth floor and can 't grill meat outside like most home owners can so once a week usually on Sundays we would run to OUTBACK for some meat and chicken. Probably thirty five to forty times a year.
  
  Last two times in Outback I noticed the bill went up 25%, the wings were half the size and not juicy, the salad half the size and drier, not as cold or crisp as it usually is, and the House Special Steak has somehow shrunk. Basically I am the carnivore, and the wife is a chicken lover so we order the same things almost repeatedly and can tell the difference.
  
  Outback is a great chain and was one of my favorite experiences in the moderate price range, but the quality and value has deteriorated to he point of a turnoff. We went back a second time and it was close to the first negative experience. We decided eat less there and just go to Ruth Chris for a steak.
  
  Action taken:
  I am in the process of composing a letter to their chain. I have friends there affiliated with the chain who till now did a great job in merchandising, value for the dollar and quality staff.  Surprisingly, this is one of the closest stores to the main offices of Outback who built a reputation based on those points.
  
  Update: 01/07/06:  I'll be back.  We tried Outback again at the same store, and a brief mention of my disappointment with the last two visits brought a response from our server (David) who took things under advisement and this time everything was perfect just like in the old days. I also noticed a floating manager this time checking the tables including ours. Maybe the last two times things had become complacent. The Caesar salad was filled, chilled and with an ocean of cheese and the Steak (the 12 Oz. house special) was dead on. Pink throughout, tender almost to a filet and tasty. Best one I ever got there. The last one I got was rock flavored meat or meat flavored rock.  Service was fast, on time and worth the cost of the meal.
  
  *** Sometimes you have to speak up. Basically if you don't, they have no way of telling the impression they are making till it shows up somewhere like here. I restored them to four and a half stars.
  
   

• Kentucky  Fried Chicken: **
  Location: Across from Countryside Mall - Pinellas County.
  Three different times we were disappointed. One time we ordered the little Chicken Special Sandwiches and wouldn't feed them to my dog if I had one. The Colonel should really take a good look at what he feeds you rather than the corporation worrying about the Colonels picture logo and public image. 
  He went from suit to apron or some crap like that. The barbecue was dry, like it had sat for hours, the plain one was so small it fell from the bun. This was really low end, tables were dirty and the crew looked like the tables. We threw the remainder in the garbage and walked out. 
  For the time being they should change their name to KFC,  "Killed the Frickin Chicken"
  
  Action Taken: Letter sent to Corporate.
  
  12/29/06 - Update:  (Gulf - to -Bay, Clearwater) This is the greasiest stuff I have ever eaten. I got the ten dollar bucket to go. I did, all day the next day. Forget about trans-fatty cooking oils, this stuff is like trans-mission based grease holding the coatings on the fat and skin. I do not know what people see in this place.
  
   

• Chick Filet: **
  Location: Across from Tyrone Mall - Brand New Store
  Their claim is they didn't invent the Chicken but the Chicken Sandwich. It's pretty hard to screw up Chicken but they plucked up severely.  They managed to about everything wrong.  My spicy sandwich needed a magnifying glass to find the Chicken piece, no spice on it, and they forgot the top part of the BUN. So I went back to the line waited and got the top half of the bun for my sandwich which was now spice-less and cold. I used Pepper instead and made my own spicy chicken. Small fry portions. Meanwhile the assistant manager is doing the float, checking tables, hoping he'll get the next store they build and no one was watching the kitchen to see what's going out the door.
  
  Another thing that bothers me about their places is the memorized greeting you get and recital of certain paragraphs of the policies by youthful offenders of the English language. They never heard of the word elocution, the idea is to get through the pitch as fast and as unintelligible as possible. I had to ask the girl two times to slow down and speak up so she could be understood. I gave up. Not worth the effort. I think she had a crush on the guy with the no-buns policy.  Once again this is a management problem, they have had better days. there are some really nice Chick Filet stores that are consistent.
  
  ACTION TAKEN: None-taken, no-value for the money, mis-management.
  
   

• Cody's: ***/*
  Location: Across from Tyrone Mall in St. Petersburg.
  My wife said she liked it better than Outback. She had a Salmon Filet and I had the Steak Special, a one pound Sirloin and it was excellent, the endless salad great with a nice house ranch, and a sweet potato with trimming.
  
  Service was excellent and this was the fourth time we had eaten there each time with good results on a Sunday. Our waitress was new and was well versed and trained, 2nd day on the job and did a really nice job.  Food was hot, timely and had great eye appeal. 
  
  BUT and it's a big but. I have eaten at two other of their locations and got exactly an opposite feeling when I left.  The store on West Bay Drive gave me half-cooked chicken, poor service on two occasions, and we would rather drive eight miles to Tyrone than travel one mile at West Bay. No comparison. Nothing but a management problem.   At Tyrone Good food, nice value for the dollar and less expensive than Outback.
  
  ACTION TAKEN: 12/27/06 Update: We tried the Cody's at US 19 in Clearwater.  Not as good as the one on Tyrone ordering the same food. My steak was first too raw, then they killed it with overcooking.  The third Cody's on Ebay is a religious experience, Passover.
  
   

• Olive Garden:  ****
  Location:  Largo Mall
  Surprise, the food was good, timely, reasonably priced and service was excellent for a chain though they were busy. But I hate the wine sales pitch you will get when you are seated. I will tell you though, the management while we were dining was floating all the time, going from room to room checking on and watching things. This takes a "moderate priced chain" dealing in Italian Food,  partially prepped, and partially cooked to order, to a higher level than most of the others.
  
  ACTION TAKEN: Told the manager when leaving, we enjoyed the meal.
  
   

• TACO Bell: **
  Location: Most
  This wouldn't even be fair since 90 of their restaurants in the northeast were shut down for E.COLI problems. Suspected cause is the Green Onions, aha, it was not, it was the lettuce!  Just today 12/13/06 Eighteen more cases of E.COLI have shown up in Michigan. Total 12/14/06  71 cases. 
  
  It appeared that "Yo tengo TACO Bell" gets changed to "You'll Tango from Taco Bell"  dancing to the nearest bathroom.  For those who can't Tango, a slower Fox-with-trots will be appropriate.  They are their own worst problem. They could start by making their employees wear gloves. I have thrown back meals when I saw the prep guy or gal scratch their head or fix their hair and then dish out my meal. 
  
  Not letting the meat sit in heat trays for hours uncovered and start a fresh campaign of retraining their staffs in the art of cleanliness.  The best thing I like there is their hot sauces and at least they come pre-packaged.  Foods just left out too long. Poor management, sloppy food controls.
  
  Note: 02/27/02. And as if bad news comes in threes, the TACO Bell in Manhattan, NYC was filmed with mice and rats scurrying throughout the place before opening one day after they passed their inspection  by the NYC health department. As I have said before those certificates on the wall mean nothing, It's the integrity of the chain. Obviously they were too busy looking for roaches to notice the rats.  I wouldn't be surprised if someone mispronounced Burrito as "Bur-rat-toe" and actually got what they asked for!
  
  ACTION TAKEN:  I avoid the place. Too much hands (and feet it seems) on for me.
   

• SUBWAY: **
  Location: East Bay at US 19 Mall (Tri City Plaza)
  While most SUBWAYS are clean and fresh looking, this one really belongs somewhere else like a fourth world country. But you go to a franchise food establishment because you feel a connectivity and comfort level from a particular chain that says freshness, wholesomeness, cleanliness and fair sized portions. And then there's the guy who lost all that weight and you are motivated to go there.  In fairness, many of the SUBWAYS I have eaten at have been clean.  My only complaint is when the give you a sandwich which looks nothing like the one in the picture right over the guys head. I told one employee, I'll have one sub just like that one in the picture and the manager laughed and said "you don't believe everything you see in pictures, do you"?

  This is one location to avoid. About the worst I have seen. It was about as dirty as the SUBWAY in NY before Mayor Rudy Giuliani's leadership, New York City has become the best-known example of the resurgence of urban America. From his success at cleaning up Times Square and other public spaces around the City to closing the Fresh Kills landfill on Staten Island, Mayor Giuliani has worked tirelessly to pass New York to the next generation better and more beautiful than it was before he entered office. Giuliani cleaned up the act. He should work for this SUBWAY.
  
  The store itself (look at the ceiling) and the men's bathroom were absolutely filthy. The ceilings were black, with stuff hanging. The meat precooked and looked dried out. What ever happened to franchises inspecting their franchisees.  I refused to wash my hands or touch anything in the bathroom because I felt I was cleaner than their sink. I used a napkin to exit the door with. Subway needs to get on their case. This and the Egg Platter were probably the two filthiest places (involving restrooms) I have stopped in.
  
  ACTION TAKEN:  Letter to Subway.
  
   

• The EGG PLATTER: *
  Location: Ulmerton road and Starkey (Free Standing Location)
  It is next to a Rally gas station with a CLEAN SUBWAY in it and I should of gotten a sub to go. Instead I decided after filling my car with gas and getting the Rally car wash, I would grab a fast lunch with my wife and continue my chores. We went in to the Egg Platter, which was next door and were greeted and seated. the waitress was very nice.
  
  This location used to be a fast food Chinese take out and buffet location. Chinese food is fast heat searing cooking but not when it sat all day long. That's almost oxymoronic in it's whole context. The local joke about the place was "that probably explains the recent losses in the cat and dog population locally". The food wasn't very good and the place was dirty. It closed and reopened as an Egg Platter.
  
  I ordered a simple burger and some potato salad, the wife ordered a Tuna melt. After the food came in a reasonable period of time, I had forgotten to wash my hands realizing I had just pumped gas. I went to the men's room, opened the door and almost threw up. I have no way to explain the condition of the toilets, stalls, graffiti, dirt and stench other than to say I have seen cleaner facilities in some third world countries. The stall doors were bent and broken, toilet paper and excrement on the floor and racial disparaging remarks written on many surfaces which I cannot repeat here. They were equal opportunity racists.
  
  I mentioned to our waitress that they should check the men's room. She said she would tell the manager.  We ate and left. On the way out I looked in again. No difference. This one needed a call to the Board of Health.  Dirty restrooms may be the result of some lowlife customers but they are the responsibility of the restaurant. It is usually an indicator of other problems ignored in the rest of the establishment. My wife said the ladies room was no jewel and she walked out. later on I thought to myself, if bathrooms are that filthy, where do the workers tend to their cleanliness and then to the food.  ACTION TAKEN: Letter sent to the County.   06/24/07  (CLOSED)
   

• DENNY'S:  **
  Location: Missouri Ave North of East-West Bay
  The apparent minimum wage law is a disaster. Must be because the three times we checked on this store there was not enough help, dirty floors, dirty tables, apparently the leaving shift didn't bus their tables and it was once again understaffed. Maybe all these corporate big shots should take less compensation and pay the help a little so they would stay on. Three times the same problems so no one has addressed the problems.  After the nice waitress came over we ordered two sandwiches, iced tea and a hot tea.
  
  They cleaned the table because it was still dirty. The pecking order must determine who's section you sit in to be fair to all the help. 
  The food finally got delivered and it was average Denny faire.  I order iced tea (unsweet) because in Florida if you order sweet ice tea, you can go into diabetic coma.  Like we say; " there's sweet and Florida sweet".  I added the one little pouch of sugar.
  
  Something caught my eye....I blinked and it moved.....ANTS all over the sugar dish. All over my hand and the tea.
  We moved to another table, finished the meal and left...........that's it for this place.  THREE times THREE DISASTERS, you are out.
  
  ACTION TAKEN:  Letter to the Corporation.
   

• BELLA ITALIA Pizzeria and Restaurant ****
  Location: Bardmoor Village  Largo, Florida (727) 397-9076
  When I was a kid growing up in Brooklyn NY, one of my best friend's DAD had an Italian "neighborhood restaurant".  These were the Mom and Pop places popular with the working class. They differed from the big polished "named" or "made" gourmet places with the "named or made" clientele. 
  
  You went to this "neighborhood" pizzeria, sub shop and pasta heaven because a) you were hungry, b) portions were big, c) the food was fresh, d) the aroma and flavor was enough to drive you crazy e) it was reasonably priced.
  
  Granted I would sneak in the back door with my friend and we would partake of the cooking till Mom threw us out.  Bella Italia is that kind of local neighborhood restaurant. Sal and his wife have been there for decades, makes all the dishes from scratch, uses the same quality cheese's and meats that meet his standards (much better than the commercial stuff) and the food is cooked to order..... and it reminds me of my childhood except he doesn't leave the backdoor open....
  
  We have been customers there for about fifteen years and it's my go-to- place when hungry for simple wholesome down to earth Italian food. No frills, clean as a whistle, and you'll need a doggie bag.
   

• TIJUANA FLATS  (Almost Hip-Hop Mexican on Steroids) ****+
  100 Yards South on Belcher from East Bay Drive
  This place is a BLAST and is a Ferrari compared to a Pinto if you put Taco Bell in the mix. Real manly portions, fresh, hot, you order, they bring it to you and it's hot! And if it isn't hot enough about twenty (or more) salsas/and sauces to intensify with.  Don't be a hero Mr. Mestopholes and the inventor of the Volcano, Leonardo Volcanis conferred on a few of these.  Just go by the smiley faces on the dispensers. 
  The codes are 

  • :) mild and fruitful

  • :l it will get your attention

  • :( you might order extra water and the paramedics on standby.

  The foods great, we dropped in for lunch, same menu for dinner and it was consistent. I had the Megajuana (about a pound plus Burrito) with Chicken and all the dressings, rice and beans. Bets were I couldn't finish it. Fools.....cost them $7.95 and I was still looking for desert on the way out. That will teach them. They also serve Beer and there are about thirty items on the menu broken into categories and sizes. They are different versus the chain stores that reinvent the same thing over and over. 
  
  If I didn't mention it, I enjoy this place, a friend let me know about it and the food is a step up from normal Mexican cuisine. I stopped doing the "Yo Tango to the Bells" and head for Tijuana when I get the urge.
  UPDATE:  Call me a regular now, it's my preferred place for fun Mexican.
  
   
  
   

UPSCALE SECTION
 

• Heilman's Beachcomber *****
  CLEARWATER BEACH, FLORIDA
  I said in the beginning that food quality, preparation, and presentation ( = Value ), plus cleanliness and service are the validation points for restaurants. In all the categories Heilman's exceeds the norm. 
  
  The food is delicious, consistent and in some cases unique. I first ate there in 1964 with family and at that time the house dish was Baked Chicken. They are still known for their Baked Chicken. How's that for a run! Some places have to re-invent the burger of the week to compete. It was first opened in 1948 and though many have come and gone Heilman's is still a Clearwater Landmark almost an institution. The unique appetizers which come with the meal consist of a four part relish dish with apple butter, beets in a radish sauce, cottage cheese and you also get fresh butter, homemade bread, muffins and banana bread.  I could of made a meal from the appetizer tray.  It was followed by a house soup (a rich tomato steak blend) and a fresh greens salad with tomato and cucumber in your choice of six dressings.
  
  We had the Chicken, baked, yet moist, and lightly seasoned.  What it did lack was the grease normally associated with fried chicken and that I could (according to my doctor) live without. Of course the Chicken may be replaced by Salmon, incredible Steaks, Lobster and other faire.
  
  Service is top notch, most of the employees have worked there for years, and a sign of good service is when you don't have to ask for something. When my drink was empty it appeared full as if by telepathy. Waiters and waitresses cover each others tables.  The food comes out HOT and surprisingly at the right time. Silverware was replaced as needed. This is a finely trained and honed crew working together instead of being competitive. At times you didn't know they were there, some one once told me that was the difference between eating out and dining.
  
  A quick look into the kitchen and it was immaculate.  When Bob Heilman opened the doors 58 years ago he claimed anyone could inspect their kitchen at any time. Years ago, I did.  It hasn't changed.  I have probably been there 70 times.  Most home kitchens aren't that clean. When I decided to take my wife there for a belated Valentines, it seemed the right place, we have been together for thirty years and this place meets the criteria for good consistency. I felt I was going back in time to the sixties when I first ate there.
  
  The foundation of the business is still solid though many have come and gone in fifty years in Clearwater, good food, good service, clean and consistent dinning make a place a landmark. Heilman's is that place for a special occasion.
  It's in my top five in Tampa bay.
  
  
   

• RUTH CRIS Steak House *****
  TAMPA, Florida
  
   

• Berns Steak House *****
  TAMPA, FLORIDA
  
  
  
  
   

• Things I hate when dinning out:

  • Waitresses who sit down with you at your table to take your order. I understand the philosophy, it's about friendliness and clearing the aisle so other waitresses and waiters can pass with their trays safely. It's just over done.

  • Those who greet you with greetings like "How are Y-USE guys doing". What ever happened to "Good evening, Welcome to Burp and Grunt"

  • Places that take five minutes to seat you while the waiters and waitresses argue "who's up"'.

  • People that drag their screaming kids to a better or more expensive place then let them get out of control.

  • Parents who make the restaurant the location for the kids birthday party.  There are places like Chucky Cheese who cater to parents who have no training as parents and let their kids run amuck.  
     

• LOT'SA MORE COMING when we hit the Italian Places Harder.........
  
  
   

Photos and manuscripts Copyright 2007 Al Jacobson