CULTURAL CRISIS:
We live in a world of cultural difference and nothing shows that premise better than the Wedding ceremony which you, you lucky devil, have been retained to perform at. 

Here are a couple of clues as to what to look out for. And I mean no harm or inference to anyone, just telling it like it is or in my case was. One has to respect the difference and cultural beliefs people have.

Some ethnicities prohibit the taking of photographs that show elbows, faces or feet. (After I wrote this, I started to think a loser is a photographer doing weddings in certain countries) It would be as stupid as trying to get great pre-dressing PJ shots at a Taliban wedding and you’ll be in the soup literally or in the oil whatever boils quicker…so respect of cultural beliefs is important. 

The best advice is you never know where there is a winner.  I just glanced over my shoulder at these two and the Nikon Coolpix did the rest.  

MIX-MATCHED STYLES:

Number one on the hit parade is shooting the wrong wedding style. Be prepared that your style applies to the Wedding Couples beliefs. People are culturally different and PJ may not be the best choice for a specific wedding. You might be best to mix it up a little so you cover your bases. I have learned this from my diversified experience shooting weddings of ethnic and social differences. In addition, I must stop and give thanks to the many professionals and associates who shared a few horror stories with me over a brew or two. 

YOUNGER COUPLES:
Some younger couples like moderate trendy PJ to almost a “shock jock” approach to the Wedding. Notice I said “some”. You better expect anything, sometimes blowing tradition out the door. Expect anything from a moon to topless exhibitions to falling on ones face dead drunk.

One female shooter, new at the game living in the UK, had “penis exposure” from one of the groomsmen in three of her shots. Sure a click or two in Photoshop cured the extended problem, but I gave her a better idea. She used the “shrink image button”, and popped a print. I’ll bet that made a few circles around town!

Another example: So after you shoot a thousand B&W - photojournalistic artistic renderings or PJ shots, the mother-in-law wants the 30x40 color shot of her firstborn to hang over the fireplace of their new house. Try selling her the black and white artistic shot of the Brides bra strap while she was getting dressed.

You are not alone: My buddies and cohorts in the business shared a few other horror tales with me. Fred Miranda’s website at http://www.fredmiranda.com/ has a pretty good wedding forum. It’s inhabited by a few pro’s and many, many beginners, some pretending to know more than they do. A fast check on licenses, which is commonly on all government websites for that city or state sites tell you whether they are legal or not.

There are many other sites devoted to Wedding photographers -BUT- like most of the web, take things with a grain of salt, two shots of vodka and a twist of lemon. Ego’s run prolific in this business and everyone’s a pro. Just look at some sites and you’ll realize a few are more conversation than talent. Type in Wedding Forums on Google and a lifetime of reading is before you. Type in a few names of the shooters from the odd groups on Google and it’s like reading the tabloids. A few have a pretty shady past.

YOU have to serve the client, not force your beliefs or issues. If their style is not the best style for you, get someone else to do it and a referral fee is better than nothing or a goof up. Again I am NOT picking on any age groups, religious groups or ethnicities, just a few tips for political correctness.

Older established families and higher more elaborate level Weddings go far more often to the conservative side with shooter covering the basics and then: the PJ style thrown into the mix for complete coverage and a better bottom line.

TRADITIONAL JEWISH WEDDINGS 

We have an expression! How do you get eight opinions from seven people? Simple, book a Jewish Wedding! Now I can say that because I am Jewish. Find out ahead of time “Who is the boss”! Not the mock boss, the real boss. Five bucks says it’s not the father. It’s Mom. Get all of that out of the way fast before you sign contracts.

Simply ask “who is the boss here that I am contracting with?”. Coming from a typical Matriarchal Jewish family, I can tell you they are pretty open in conversation about Weddings. It will get passed around the table and input is allowed, encouraged and insisted. That’s why I say get it done up front. Weddings are no places to negotiate. 

Other strongly family oriented groups present the same situation. Now this is why in Lesson one I insist “That you explain that the boss at the Wedding is the Bride and she has the final word. Legally, spiritually, emotionally, she is the one you will do business with”. If not and you have clearly not designated this, I wish you well. (Get it in writing) If hell breaks loose and something goes wrong she will go crying to ....her mother. You will be the next in line if there is no Wedding Planner. That’s why you have to read BRIDEZILLA and follow these lessons. 

Once the plans are down pat and signed for and all grey and dark areas are covered, be ready for a good ride. 

They can be very photographic. Some of the customs such as the vows under a small open tent and the breaking of the glass are very symbolic and offer some good chances of a winning shot. 

Then at the reception be prepared to move quickly as the traditional circle dances and the rest of the wedding party and guests get into the act. It grows and builds. You will be busy trying to catch the action. 

Just so you understand, I’m not picking on Jewish Weddings. Again, I am Jewish and naturally have shot many. That’s why my wife and I eloped, my brother did the same. It’s seems a TRADITION in our family to elope. Many years ago at 9:00 am I told my wife we were getting married today and it was over at 11:00 am. All these years she has never regretted having the big wedding day, I always asked her. “No way”, she says. 

She was a veteran of many of the weddings we have shot and attended over the past twenty seven great years. She has been my right arm and best friend ever since and I have never regretted it. With all the stress and strain of my businesses, she was an Oasis in the Desert, an Island in the Ocean. She is the good thing about marriage, it lasts more than just one day. I’m old school, you married and meant it, good and bad, richer or poorer... In good health or bad... Life is way too short. Ok before you all start crying, on to the next one.  This was before I lost her in august 2007 to Cancer, life has never been the same.

 

INDIAN, ISLAMIC, BUDDHIST, WEDDINGS CAN LAST LONG:

Four years ago I assisted an associate as he was doing a rather large and long Islamic wedding in this area. Full video and a ton of pictures. 10 hours long and the party had just started. The longest affair I ever attended. Now I read up before getting into something I was very naive about. I’m also a lot older and the time wears you out. I was exhausted.

Nevertheless it was an incredibly unique affair and one of the ushers was gracious and very literately explained every part of the services. It was a great learning experience about someone else’s culture and traditions. I didn’t have a clue as to how long they can run. I know now. Talk about the heartbreak of “de feet”. so, time wise... (Get it in writing) 

Unexpectedly we really undercut ourselves physically, we needed a third helper just to get a break and fast charge batteries, not so much for the stills, because I make High Capacity packs for Digitals, but the bigger Video Cameras suck juice like a Hoover. I will start to use car batteries on a handcart soon for video, they eat any battery pack.
 

That’s why my new contracts were written with time clauses and helper clauses. But I have been told, this is not always the case with Islamic Weddings. This particular one was long because of the stature of the individuals in the community. All I’m saying is get it settled up front as to how long you are needed and explain “overtime”. 

Update: This wasn’t the longest Wedding. While updating things I was with one of the nicest Wedding and event Shooters in the Tampa Bay area. He booked a Wedding with the two prominent families from India and it took three days to shoot and this was common for their group. So long Weddings can be fun if you are prepared to negotiate the obvious differences and  understand “their process” so you know what you are getting into. Hint: It’s a lot easier if they have a Wedding Planner familiar with their culture and you make friends. Even if it means buying her lunch, heck dinner before you sign on. Notice I said “her”. In many cultures this is a “her” job. The fellows rarely participate in this planning and don’t wish to be bothered.

CATHOLIC WEDDINGS CAN BE RESTRICTIVE: 

I figure you have enough sense to sort this one out. Start moving equipment, make noise during the Mass, pop a flash or get too close to the altar and be prepared to get thrown out. Based on today’s headlines, don’t even make jokes about it. It’s too sensitive a subject.

 

The most Holy physical part of the Catholic Church is usually the Alter so be careful setting up shots so as not to infringe on it’s space, that’s a NO-NO. Don’t climb on the Alter to get the Brides and Grooms faces during the ceremony. Stage the shot after from a lesser angle avoiding the Alter with fast and long glass.

 

If it is a full Mass and Wedding, be prepared with long, fast glass and definitely VR or IS lenses from a distance or from the balcony. Remember to color correct (white balance) before hand if you are digitally inclined. With slower film you’ll need faster glass and fast film. Arrange all the formals for before time or after the ceremony. That’s when a helper and pre-planning mean the most. Remote triggers for additional flashes, and maybe the helper shooting topside from the balcony. It’s a heck of a lot easier if you want the Alter for the backdrops either before or after with a helper. 

Attitudes differ amongst Priests. Some are fantastic and easy to work with, showing much patience and once in a while you’ll think you walked into one of the disciples having a bad a day because his Canonization hadn’t been approved. Lately though since the bad publicity, I find they are a little more flexible since congregation numbers and funding is down. 

LUTHERAN, PROTESTANT, BAPTIST, SOUTHERN BAPIST, METHODIST, EPICOPALIAN, LATTER DAY, MORMON, NON-DENOMINATION,  ANGLICAN, REFORM, PENTECOSTAL  and a few hundred others…. I apologize if I missed yours..

Look in the phone book, note there are hundreds of Churches all with diverse themes and the game is wide open as to rules and regulations. Even churches of the same denomination differ. There is no guide just as there appears to be a problem in finding the one true religion. 

So here is what YOU have to do. I would usually try to find out if another Wedding was taking place in the church a couple weeks ahead of the one you are shooting and casually drop in and observe. Just dress nicely, sit in a back pew and follow everybody around casually using your light meter or even better a small digital, no flash to get EXIF information.

There is a wealth of knowledge to gather here. Some are casual, some are very strict with ground rules. For example, Pentecostal weddings can be very straight laced too and then go all out. BUT I covered one that was so open and nuts, I actually got some great shots out of it.  Scout out the church beforehand. I can’t emphasize this enough. Trying to fix things during a Wedding doesn’t work. They won’t wait while you adjust or learn to use your light meter or strobe. And remember to write it down, take notes, about time of day and any ambient light coming through the windows, plus additional light settings of the back area. so you know before hand what you are up against.

SHOTGUN WEDDINGS:

People never cease to amaze me. There is nothing prettier than a six month pregnant bride and the two families looking at each other with blood in their eyes.  A very colorful combination. I had the pleasure of shooting one of these when I was working for a Wedding Mill in NYC.

It was the Northern version of the Southern style shotgun wedding. The difference? The guns were worn under the tuxedos whereas in the south they used holsters. Or just slung them over the horses.

From the minute I walked in the hall, I knew I could be dead. In fact one half of the room told me that if I spent too much time on the other side of the hall I would be dead. I felt I was living West Side Story while traversing the North-South Korean DMZ.

Then the brain kicked in, why not shoot two weddings here? I just shot twenty four rolls of 120 films, carefully marked them, family A and family B. I was exhausted. These were 120 shot on Rollie, Mamiya, Yashica Twin Lens cameras and #5 bulbs. I had scorched fingers for a week.

The boss made separate albums for both sides and I got paid double commissions from the shooting and the additional prints. I was really proud of myself. And the “sellers” really worked them, each side wanted to know what the other ordered and then they increased their order week after week.. In the end run it was double the work and triple the commissions.

RACIALLY MIXED WEDDINGS: 

Racially mixed weddings sometimes have a major problem with skin tones. If you don’t know what a Grey Card is, learn quickly. It will really save your butt, and prevent screwing up your lighting and making a nightmare out of the prints. It’s a top conversation in many pro Wedding Sites. Relying on your cameras “P” mode doesn’t work. We call it the “perhaps mode” Perhaps the shots will come out. You must rely on the grey card as using the light skin tones will underexpose and give you the “AL Jolson Look” and shooting for the dark skin tone will blow the highlights. 

It’s really bad enough with a black tuxedo and white shiny dress. There are a couple techniques even including double negatives but good Photoshop techniques can save the day. It seems this is a problem to some but really it’s nothing more than the fact you are exceeding the dynamic range and you have to expose somewhere in the middle. That’s what the grey card will do for you. In addition another important point is get that camera off average mode for the sensor, you want spot metering.

SAME SEX WEDDINGS: 

Here are some of the problems that may arise. Who is the alpha? Really there shouldn’t be. It’s a union of two people. But be prepared and body language will be the clues as to how you handle the situation. One of the two will show their dominance. 

This is a very tough subject here for some.  First realize everyone invited there knows the situation and if they were not comfortable they would of not shown up.  The toughest times for the shooter involve intimate moments. Just do what you have to do, and it's your job, so do it to the best of your ability.  If it becomes a show, or beyond what you feel are your standards, back off.

But regardless of your beliefs, let the other half live and if you are not comfortable, don’t accept the work. Someone else will and some photographers specialize in it. Several of the confirmations I have done went absolutely great and the players went out of their way to make everybody comfortable. I actually had a good time at a few and got referrals. Again, you are there to record, not judge. I will tell you though, if there is a lot of booze, just keep a camera ready for a cat fight or two, but that’s true in most weddings.

BAHA’I WEDDINGS 

Baha’i marriage is union and cordial affection between two parties. They must, however, exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each other’s character. This eternal bond should be to foster harmony, fellowship and unity and to attain everlasting life - Baha’i Writings. Wow, pretty heavy, especially the everlasting part....
 

Rules: The Baha’i House of Worship is reserved for private prayer and meditation, or for public services of worship. Weddings may not be held within the House of Worship itself. However, weddings may be conducted outdoors in the Temple grounds, with bridal couples often arranging to say prayers in the Temple either before or after their wedding ceremony.
 

Weddings held in the grounds must be Baha’i weddings, whether or not the bridal couple are Baha’i. The marriage must be celebrated by a legally authorized marriage celebrant. Learn the words flash fill, and daylight white balance. You will be shooting lots of white clothing in broad daylight.

You will most likely find it very serene and generally I have to watch myself or I will fall asleep at them, the softness, ease, spirituality, the gardens and a warm sun…..serene divineness….snore….

BAS or BAR MITZVAHS, CONFIRMATIONS, FORMAL EVENTS
You TREAT THEM EXACTLY AS WEDDINGS! Especially Bar-Mitzvahs, you’ll have a larger percentage of kids around. And you’ll have a little more chaos as they are not as structured sometimes. The other thing you will learn as you read on is something I mentioned before. Find out whose running the gig and who is ultimately responsible.
 

The Bar Mitzvah I Screwed Up....I knew the person I thought was the host, so I never bothered with a contract. No substantial deposit, just $100 for film, she said “she was treating FOR THE FILM. It was her sister’s grandson. I was not dealing with the boss, violation of rule one.  (No Contract)

One of the guest sisters attending was on an unsupervised weekend leave from an Institution. She got enamored with the camera and upset every picture she could get into. Funny faces, devil fingers, the birdie. I asked the mother to see if she could calm her a little and I got a speech. Not her job. Rule two, (the designated persona). 

Uncle Samuel brought his Minolta and almost knocked me over. (No Contract for prime shooter)

Then the rest of the Paparazzi showed up. It ran long, kids got restless and they headed for the banquet. Even the Rabbi was trying to bail. And the real party for the adults was on the second (next) day which I was never told about. Violation of Rules 2-7, (no contract, no outsiders, Paparazzi under my control etc.) 

After the weekend was over, I did the work in our lab, and told her the proofs were ready. I wanted this thing done. Gut feeling. All of a sudden she has nothing to do with this entire affair. OK I reach the fly-in sister. She tells me to forget it as (you guessed it) Uncle Samuel had done such a good job! The two had not coordinated and my services were no longer required. (Rules 2,3,4,5,6) Here I am, ticked off looking at 6-36 exposure rolls of 35. I called my attorney, basically he tells me I got borscht! It usually boils down to what’s in writing.

Or as he said it, “NO WRITE, NO RIGHT! He felt it was not worth pursuing. He instructs me to send them a registered letter telling them all the negatives and proofs will be destroyed within 48 hours if I am not paid since they voided the verbal agreement. He calls the witch as a last resort, and she tells him where to go. I am not generally a vengeful person, but this one got to me and a week later I cut up the negatives and proofs.

But if ever there was Divine Intervention, G-d sends it through synch cords and Uncle Samuel had his Minolta on a shutter speed too high for the flash. Blew the synch speed rule! He had pictures, but only one-half of each of them. I get a call a couple weeks later from the real Dad, sorry, nothing I could do. He turns out to be a real nice guy. I lost, they lost. It was a treasured moment with their child that went unrecorded that was the bad part, it bothered me. I wrote this off as an experience and that’s why I’m telling you how you must approach this thing as a business and forsake the amateur attitude if you are serious about making this a career.

Had I been professional and not lost my temper, I would have put a REAL HEALTHY price tag on the pictures. One of those D2X price tags.

I have a heart under all this humor.... I called the father back and told him to get his kid and we were going to a few places and I shot some really good stuff on the beach, Khakis, blue shirts, Sea Oats, sand, at a pitch and putt, batting cages, and handed him 72 shots of Dad and Son that hopefully the way the father would of really wanted it. I got the Rabbi to do some shots in the Temple with a select few friends. The father paid me for the Bar Mitzvah.

HE’S TALL – SHE’S SHORT
Step One- See if you really have a problem, the couple knows who and what they are and they love each other enough to get married, I guess there is no problem so don’t create one.

Step Two - if they have concerns at least for the formals if you are doing them, then discuss it and seek suitable locations for height enhancement such as sitting shots, carry over the threshold shots and stair cases. Not only can you shoot them standing below or equal to the Bride and Groom but you can be above them a few steps on the staircase if there is one. In other words try different things, your viewfinder will tell you what looks good. 

In PJ anyway most shots are grabbing as grab can and very spontaneous which overshadows any height problems after all one of the tenets is reality, just like TV.

Step Three - Use good portrait techniques, Bride closer to camera than Groom, etc.

Step Four - Use a Rubbermaid step stool from Target, Home Depot to elevate bride if doing 3/4 or 1/2 body shots. And here are the reasons I use the step stool.  I tried boxes. In Video they are called Apple Boxes and composed of parts and sections. I carry enough parts with me.  I like simple and cheap. I want everything I own to do multi-tasking and the stools with Internal storage get used all the time around my world and my kitchen.

STOOL USE:
  •  One step stool is enough for the Bride, no parts , no assembly , no thinking, if there is less than 8 inches difference she can wear heels.
  •  I stand on the step stool to get extra height for some shots such as oblique angles of the groomsmen and ushers etc since they may be tall and I want the camera on top of the tallest.
  •  Many have tall studio lights, I use the stool to get to the high lights.
  •  Great in the kitchen.
  •  Great for waxing top of my vehicle.
  •  Great for shorter girlfriend or wife to wax top of her vehicle which means I only have to wax my car.
  •  Great little stool to place material over in layouts for product shots.
  •  Great stool for short kids to reach posing table.
  •  Very safe for shooting over top of crowd when small ladder is out of question.
  •  Essential for making speeches since everybody knows you need to stand on some kind of box to get attention while making a speech. Standing on a cardboard TIDE soap box don't cut it. I tried, falling right through, smelled like soap for a week.
  •  Indispensable in hanging states.
  •  Checking and fueling the Caravan  (Airplane or most high wing aircraft)
  •  Using it for balance techniques in tai-chi - especially Yang Chuanfu's Crane technique's
  •  It's white and matches most wedding dresses and the train in front hides it nicely.
  •  $9.99 at Target.

UNCONVENTIONAL WEDDINGS…
Nudist Camps, Cultural; Centers, Retreats, Wiccan, Druidic rites and Satanic worship. Some I will shoot, some I won’t even go there, I usually forward those requests to someone I hate. 

http://altreligion.about.com/index.htm

CORPORATE EVENTS, BOARD MEETINGS ETC. 

Get it in writing, get a deposit, do it by the book...enough said. That’s it for the more popular and conventional Weddings.