THE PHOTOGRAPHERS PRAYER

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THE PHOTOGRAPHERS PRAYER


LORD,  
Protect the Photographers from themselves, may they have clean glass,
enough SD cards, Tums, a good second shooter, clean underwear after the event,
and fully charged batteries.

May there be an abundance of good weather, and good indoor ambient lighting.
And prayerfully, a Catholic Priest who allows the use of Flash if not,
may all the Sanctuary lights be on.

 May he or she find the perfect Bride, a Bride who is understanding, 
listens carefully, duct taped her mother and aunts, drop dead gorgeous, 
and under two hundred sixty-five pounds.

 May she not be a card carry-ing member, subscriber, listener, 
or a graduate of Bridezillas, Inc.

 May the caterer service the meal with etiquette and an approach to
the level of couture culinary cuisine befitting the occasion even if it’s only 
Hamburgers or Wings and may the Wings be medium or mild, thank you. 
May they not forget the Celery and Blue Cheese dressing.

May the flowers in the Church be as ordered and the selection coordinating with
the 
rest of the styling.  No Ragweed, Venus Flytraps, Poison Ivy, Goldenrod,
Night Blooming Jasmine nor stuffed Bats unless it’s a Gothic gig or sending it to a
special event like Dick Cheney’s funeral.

May the late limousine arrive in time, with the groom sober, dressed, sans the
stripper, his friends treated him to, and the best man remembering the ring or where
he last left it.  (Check the stripper, the best man may have used it for
trade as drunk as he was).
 

May the flower girl have a fresh diaper on and not try to beat the
little boy ring bearer 
to death, because he stole a kiss.

May no one or many former lovers still awaiting child support stand up in chorus
when the Priest asks, 
“Is there someone who is against this marriage.”  And may the 
groom not get served during the ceremony. 

 When it’s all over may the congregation and photographer,  
“Say, thank you Lord” and “Amen”.  

And knowing and believing he got pictures worthy of publication, 
and he did the job to the best of his ability.